Stab me!

Actions speak louder than words.

Well, at least that was what we were taught. However, recently, I've observed something that does not reflect that teaching.

Let me ask you these questions: What are your expectations of the people around you? Also, what do you assume are the obligations you hold towards them?

Not sure? For me, as much as I tell myself to not expect anything from others, I can't help but automatically hope for some form of reciprocity. While thinking so, I feverishly pray that they expect near to nothing from me. Now, I am not proud of this form of selfishness but hey, how many of you dare confess that you and I think alike?

So, when we criticise others of their actions or words, what are we to expect? Well, the same thing to happen to ourselves, of course! Yes, actions may speak louder than words but haven't we figured out after say, a quarter of a century on Earth that words sting more?

We almost always behave according to the heat of the moment. Luckily, those moments do not last long for most of us. But, the after effects of what we do or say may last longer than we may like them to. So why do we even bother feeling angry, sad, cheated etc.? Some say, "You shouldn't keep things in. It's not good for you." Yes, agreed. But, letting those emotions out does not warrant the vocal graffiti of the people involved,does it?

Hm, not quite sure of what to think now? I guess staying true to your own heart and mind is the hardest matter to conquer, no?

For it is when we are true to ourselves, we stop belittling others.
For it is when we are honest and open about our thoughts, we stop putting up a front.
And when we believe that we are our own enemies, we will stop making enemies out of everyone else.

Hence the stabbing.

Why do we stab? It doesn't matter if it's backstabbing, frontstabbing or sidestabbing. It's still stabbing regardless of which direction it comes from. This act of brutality becomes worse when the stabber tells others a different version of the story that is told to the stabbee. And so the brutality becomes vicious.

It's sad, don't you think? This habitual (and sometimes, I think, primordial) reaction in the name of self-defence when started, has no end. And if you are Buddhist like me, you'd believe that the negative emotions tied in with the stabbing will be brought on to the next life thus further hampering our attempts to achieve Nirvana.

It is tiring. To be the 'good guy' in front of everyone is very tiring indeed. You'd need various versions of the same topic to tug at the heartstrings of differing audiences. So why do we continue doing it? It makes the stabbing more efficient, you see. And when it gets more efficient, the more the stabber enjoys his/her position of power. And so the cycle of hatred continues.

But that doesn't seem to stop us from joining the masquerade. In fact, we seem to enjoy ourselves to a certain extent.

Ah, what the hell... go ahead and stab me! We can rot in Hell together for all I care!