Saturday, March 27, 2010

Determining life fixtures

Living with friends is teaching me a thing or two about myself. Or rather, it is reminding me of my pros and cons, which to me, is the upside of living with other people.

I have heard from many that I should try living on my own for a change. Being truly independent of social contacts, to me, does not equate to being an independent person. I feel sorry for whoever out there who feels that it is. I have also heard from many that living with other people is difficult. But my dear, what isn't?

People in life come and go. No one is the exception. Everyone of us come and go in everybody else's lives. Even when we feel that some of the people in our lives are 'difficult', why are we determined to be bothered by them? They come... and they go.

But when they come into our lives, I feel that they are there for a reason. They appear for a reason, good or bad. So while they are there, why not make the best out of it?

Be determined, take the effort to break your own shell. Get to know them. Yes, you may not totally agree with the way they think, the things they say, the things they do or even the way they look but who's to say that you have to? Even by just observing them or listening to other friends gossip about them, you learn a thing or two about them and people in general.

Be determined, try to not generalise your own judgemental thoughts. Why? Because it gets you no where and is an isolating act of stubbornness. Like a mirror, your actions would elicit similar actions from those around you. Would you want others to be judgemental of your thinking?

Why destroy your own 'self' when the people around you are not permanently there?

Your parents,
siblings,
friends,
children,
life partners.

Will they all be there for you permanently? Who are you to decide that they will?

We have to decide for ourselves what lessons are to be learnt from every person we meet in our lives. For good or for bad, they are still lessons, if we heed their guidance.

Like when we think we hate our piano teachers because they were really harsh when training us for exams.
Like when we think we hate our best friends because they double-crossed and went after the guys you liked.
Like when we think we hate our older siblings because they get all the high grades.
Like when we think we hate our colleagues because they can afford expensive brands.

Look harder. They are all lessons from which we are able to learn. Look beyond the surface and think, do they all still matter to you now? No. Why?

Because they are all come-and-go incidences. They should not be in your mind forever. What should remain are the teachings behind those incidences. Yes, those can become the fixtures in your mind.

So every time someone pisses you off, boil. Boil to your heart's content for that minute or so. Then, cool down and think of what the reason this passer-by is passing you by.

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