Pei Shin's wedding

It has been a long time since Dad had a reunion with all his siblings. I have not seen some of my uncles, aunts and cousins for some time, too, especially the Beijing ones. One of the reasons I enjoy family reunions is the feeling of belongingness. There may be negative undercurrents and such but hey, we are still family and nothing beats that. 

One thing I have to mention is that everyone on Dad's side are artists of some sort. Take for example my uncle who runs a jewellery shop in my hometown of Temerloh. He is a wonderful watercolour painter (below is one of his paintings). My aunts in Melbourne and Beijing, are oil painters. If I could for anything, I am a self-professed colour pencil artist *sheepish grin*.

One other pretty big reason is the food that comes with reunions - my aunts are great cooks and so...

... yes, spoilt for choice! One aunt is really good with her baking while the other cooks up main dishes - perfect combo! It was also refreshing to have home-made Mojito, the first of anything that is edible (or drinkable, I should say) from my Beijing cousin.

Now, this reunion had a purpose. We were all in Melbourne for a special occasion - Pei Shin's wedding. Pei Shin is my pretty cousin, the one who could easily have won Miss Malaysia if she ever took part in it. On my dad's side of the family, she is the first of my generation to be married. This made it a little awkward for me during the (not so) traditional Chinese tea ceremony, as it was my first experience giving out angpaus.

The wedding itself took place at Fergusson Winery [Wills Road, Yarra Glen, VIC 3775, Australia; Tel: +61 3 5965 2237, Fax: +61 3 5965 2405; E-mail: info@fergussonwinery.com.au]. Yes, it was at a vineyard for all you outdoor vineyard wedding fans. And before I go into the photo feast, please allow me to boast a little about my talented family, again. Haha... the flower arrangements and all decorations, including the bows were made by my aunt and cousin. All of them. The only things that the winery provided were the location and furniture. Oh, and of course the food and drinks. But everything else was self-made.

We then proceeded into the restaurant for the wedding reception. There was another set of stationery for guests to be creative with indoors. Again, all decoration on the pillars, tables, you name it, were prepared by my aunt and cousin. 

Even the wedding cake was made by my aunt! Amazing or what? And no, she is not a professional pastry chef or what not. Not bad for someone who refers to online forums, baking magazines and Youtube.

These sugar crafted orchids looked real to me...

The emcee for the night was Matt's uncle, who also gave a little intro to what our little girl was getting herself into... I think he makes a fine comedian. Wonder if he has the same sense of humour when he is on duty (he is a policeman).

From our side of the family, we were represented by Uncle Aaron...

I only bothered to take photos of the appetizers; the honey chilli prawns and the potato gnocchi...

And as all other receptions end, the newly wedded couple happily cut the wedding cake and then proceeded to the dance floor for the customary wedding dance.

Pei, Jing Jing Jiejie is so happy for you. May you and Matt have a blissful marriage. I know it is a little too early but I really look forward to seeing your own little ones who would call me 'yiyi'. :)

First week blues...

For many children and teenagers in Malaysia, this week is when they officially start their new school year. Like the rest of the country, we at Honey Bee have started, too, and like previous years, it is always a noisier affair over at taska compared to tadika, due to the younger age groups.

According to Mum, it has not been too bad this year. Other than one or two special characters, she considered the crying and separation anxiety that has been taking place pretty normal.

I am unsure of the 'first week' situation in other childcare centres and kindies in the area but here are some scenarios that we have experienced in our 20 years of operation:

• Newcomers normally cry when they realise that their parents are not there with them. The crying is inevitable because this is the way they express their fear towards an entirely new environment with total strangers. I am not saying that all of them will cry but generally, it is normal to expect crying of different levels.

• We have realised that for some of the children who seem well-adjusted and calm on the first day may return the next day totally different. Perhaps the first day was a trial and so the next day, they know what to predict and would react in a much stronger way. The crying, kicking, screaming and tantrums are usually more dramatic during the 2nd and 3rd days.

• The anxiety and discomfort seemingly escalates because the child realises that freedom is lost. Unlike at home where they get to wake up at any time, eat and drink what and when they like, watch cartoon at any time, play outside when they feel like it, take a nap for as long as they want, and also have everything done for them (e.g. point to the shoes and the shoes automatically gets put on their feet by an adult), the situation is entirely different when they are with us. Not only do they have to learn to be independent, they have to learn to socialise with other people, children and adult alike. Instead of using physical actions, they learn to use their verbal expressions to communicate. They learn to obey rules and listen to instructions, they learn to play with others, take turns and share. They learn to follow a routine and to be disciplined. They learn that it is alright to make mistakes and that it is not alright to be rude and disrespectful.

• Parents of newcomers are normally advised to prepare three or four extra sets of clothes (more sets for younger children), in case accidents happen. For example, for children who are newly toilet trained, due to the new environment, they may not make it in time to the toilet. Also, as the younger children are learning to eat and drink independently, they may dirty their clothes while eating and drinking.

• It is also common for children to catch a flu or fever during this week because of the sudden and longer hours of exposure to the outside world (other children and bacteria alike), which prior to this, they have had no contact with. Some of them may also throw tantrums and not want to drink any water nor do they want to eat anything we offer. A combination of all these may result in children falling sick and may cause interrupted sleep at night.

Some suggestions we have, which may or may not be applicable to your own situation:

• Have a heart of steel! (Kidding) But seriously, it helps to keep telling yourself that this is only a transition period for the family. The crying, screaming and what not will eventually stop. It will get easier to leave the house and things will go back to normal. Do not let your child's actions stop you from driving off. Be firm and stick to what you have told him/her: Mummy and Daddy are going to work now. We will come back after work so you have a lovely day here with your new friends and teachers. Love you. Give a little kiss and hug and go. Do not linger around.

• Tell them exactly what will happen and why these things are happening: You are a big girl/boy now and because Mummy and Daddy have to work, you will go to a new place to play and learn with other girls and boys who can be your new friends. You will play games, sing songs, paint pictures, listen to stories and learn to eat like a big girl/boy. There will be aunties and jiejies there who are like teachers, who will help you to do all these things. You do not have to feel scared because they are friendly and helpful. Mummy and Daddy will come right after work so you have to eat, have your milk, have your nap and then play a little before you will see us again. Do not paint an overly perfect picture for your child. Do not tell your child that there are lots of toys to play with and that there are yummy things to eat. No, please do not do that because we are honest people, aren't we not now? Stick to your words, and your child will stick to theirs.

• Trust us. This relationship between home and school is not going to work if you do not trust us. The whole point of you enrolling at our centre is because you agree with the why, what and how we do things and that you trust that we will deliver what we say we will. So, let us do our job properly for you to work with peace of mind. 

• Voice any doubts or queries immediately. Do not sweep issues under the carpet because even the slightest of things will escalate into something major. If you found something unusual, ask us. If you felt that we could do a better job at something, inform us. However, we would appreciate that your opinions and questions are voiced and asked in a respectful and polite manner, as we have feelings, too. It is a very stressful environment that we are in, a childcare centre and kindergarten because we are in charge of so many young lives that are capable of doing unthinkable things at times. We are all trying our hardest to educate and care for your children to the best of our abilities, knowledge and training.

• Every child develops at their own unique pace. This is not a competition to see whose child will stop crying first, whose child will start to count first, whose child will recite the alphabets first, whose child is more courageous and so on. Please do not feed your own ego to your children, as it is hard enough a job for them to find out their own individuality. Some children do not cry, some cry for a day, some for a week and yet others for months but they all end up fine. Have some confidence in your child and things will be fine.

Please bear in mind that these are entirely my own observations at our centre. You may have different experiences with your children and at different centres. The first weeks are always the hardest but when you get through them, everything else will fall into place, so jiayou everyone!

Thank you, 2012

Before the clock strikes 12, I would like to finish that box of Ferrero Rocher sitting on my kitchen counter. I think the riesling in my fridge would go very well with it. Oh, and perhaps some of that Maggie Beer burnt fig, honeycomb and caramel ice cream, too. When the clock does strike 12, I would be in front of the black box watching the thousands of dollars worth of taxpayers' money paint the night sky with colourful firework artistry. So, to assist me in my quest to rid off all the above-mentioned food, I thought I'd use some brain juice here...

Dear 2012,

How are you? You have had a year filled with challenges and with achievements of sorts. There were school shootings and there was the London Olympics. For me, you prepared something slightly different compared to other years.

You first sent me to Melbourne for some family time over Chinese New Year. It allowed me to touch base with my aunts and cousins, and also to meet my nephew for the first time.

Then there was the frenzy over getting an approval from  the HREC board in uni. Without their green light, I would not be able to purchase that flight back to KL for the first part of my research.

When I arrived home, you gave me a slap in my over-confident face with setbacks in participant recruitment. Very timely slap, I would have to say, as it brought out the worst in my stubborn self that needed some fine-tuning. This fine-tuning received support in the form of emotional support from family and friends like Max, Jeunn Fuh and Edwin. Also, there were references that came from unexpected people, like Miss Chia, Miss Yong and Raymond.

I was fortunate to attend the Holy Matrimony of my best friend, Jon, the wedding receptions of ex-classmate, Yew Fon, of CPU juniors, Alan and Lian Shien, as well as the whole wedding day fun of ex-high school juniors, Guek Ming and Hwee Lee.

You gave me the honour of flying on the flight that my ex-student, Chee Kin, was first officer. I had the chance to visit Singapore after my first visit 18 years ago.

There were new people you introduced into my life, too. There was the AsiaWorks bunch of good buddies, like Evon and Henry. There were the two new additions to our Honey Bee family in the form of Rainey and Carrie. Not only did you introduce new people, there were new cats! Elphar and Remy, and then Bubur and Chacha.

You graciously gave me the opportunity to celebrate (for the first time) the birthdays of Jeunn Fuh and Rick Kee.

Being part of cousin Samantha's graduation was also an event that meant quite a bit to me. It was my first attendance at a graduation of a family member. It felt really good to see her all grown up and pursuing her own interest.

I was also given the chance to re-visit Malacca and Penang, both being 2-day/1-night getaways in Dad's oh-so-comfy new car. Speaking of cars, you allowed me to ride in many of my friends' cars and if I get to take my pick, I would rate Ray's my favourite ride.

After returning Down Under, you gave me even more support in the form of friends like Xin Wen, Jenny and Michael. Housemate issues really did not bother me much and even that was a learning curve that I have benefited much from. I look forward to welcoming Karen, who is replacing Ai Vee to live with Jie and I.

I cannot thank you enough for the privilege to have my abstract accepted for and to present at the TASA Conference. And because of the trip to Brisbane, I had the chance to see Jwu Yng's place and also catch up with ex-student, Li Xin (even made friends with her friends).

Despite all the happenings, reconnecting with old friends and their families would have to be the best gift you prepared for me. A big thank you goes out to all that has been part of my life in 2012.

all my friends in my professional network, especially scott, ah boon, steven, miss chia, mrs. pang, ah wei
all my 'virtual' friends, especially boey, brandon, melissa
all my cpu friends, especially justin oei, justin mong, alan, lian shien, benjamin, wan feng

all my asiaworks buddies, especially henry, evon, alicia, kein, bocao, phylicia

all my herbalife friends, especially sonia, brent, michelle, charlie, jenni, oscar, sandy, yiran, leo, charles

all my friends in serdang, especially sook fong and jason, ken lie, peter, chin dy, mohas, eniza, kimberly, jason, king mui, kian fei
all my sydney friends, especially jenny, michael, xin wen, stellina, shaun, thaddeus, may, rachel, othilia, ai vee, jie, keith, elvin, jeng yie, edison, dominic, galven, audrey, ming yow, diane, pek lynn, vanessa, daniel, ta seng, selina, ke xin, terence, karen, eugene, alex, charmaine, michaeline, shannon, jeff, elvan, evelyn, victor, alvin
all my friends, colleagues and mentors in uni, especially jocelyn (and family), nicholas, heather, kelly, lisa, nanditha, dora, rosemary, grace, helen, zinnia, sanobia, doranna, sally, jennifer, alex, julie, rebecca, marina, sheila, shirley, marianne, jane, manjula, belinda, amanda, cathrine, clare, fay, jackie, ellie, peter
all my research partipants in sydney and kl and my usm mentor, prof. anna christina
all my ex-teachers from desa, especially mr. bong, mr. karuna, puan wong
all my friends from desa, especially jeunn fuh, paul, max and cathryn, yew fon, su ee, yee teng, dorothy, hui wei, natalia, kean giap, weng lok, rick kee and felicia, kenny and lee chin, yuen chai, eva, lee sih, han hsuing, kin seng, wai seng, robin, tommy, yan loong, raymond loh, edwin, jon and ee lane, yin lee, ai ling, chee kit and sandra, soo ting, mei yen, sabrina, guek ming and hwee lee, swee fong and queenie, jwu hoe and chai ling, fuh ming (and his mum), raymond chong (and his family: aiwee, nelson, simon, rhyann, aeris, kingston, aunty and uncle), yun hau, how ran and siew ching, pin kean, yee khai, voon khong
all my current honey bee students
all my ex-honey bee students (and their families), especially lih herng, lih jie, wan xin, wan qin, li xin, jian jun, munn yee, charl yee, shin yee, chui mun, chui yee, jie hui, chee kin, justin, chon seng, chon jun, siu suan, siew qi, yew weng, ruihan, ming suet, yuk khey, zhi qiao, su xin, su ting, vincent, vivian
all my ex-honey bee staff (and their families), especially miss yee, miss ng, miss ong, miss lew, miss lee, miss wong, puan emi
all my current honey bee staff (and their families), miss yong, miss chang, puan nora, miss puanes, puan nisma, miss teoh, miss saras, miss chin, miss nancy, miss yam, miss tai, miss ang, miss foo, miss carrie, miss rainey, uncle chow, aunty yen
my extended family, especially aunty pat, cousin petrina, jason, brianna and olivia, cousin lik shan, aunt yoke wan, aunt yoke mooi, cousin woon bing, aunt yoke chin, cousin meng cheng, uncle ah fong, aunt siew peng, cousins pei shan, yon tian and pei qi, aunt shiu ying, cousins pei shin and pei yiun, aunt shiu yeen, cousin eunice, uncle sim fatt, aunt siew choo, cousins samuel and samantha
my two cambodian domestic helpers, who absolutely adore the cats at home
my four-legged furry cuties, remy and chacha
my fantastic family, bro, mum, dad

For better or worse, each and every one of you have helped me become more of who I am today, become a better me in future.

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." - Buddha

And therefore, 2012, thank you for everything.

Most sincerely,

sj.

Happy 2013, everyone...

Sydney Basket Brigade Packing Day

One Thanksgiving Day many years ago, a young family awoke not with a sense of gratitude many associate with the holiday but with a preoccupation of where its next meal would come from. Too proud to contact a local charity and too frustrated to celebrate the gift of togetherness, the parents lashed out at each other, turning the holiday into a day of devastation. The oldest son could do nothing but watch in despair. 

Then, destiny intervened with an unexpected knock at the door. The family was stunned to find a man standing there, grinning broadly and carrying a huge basket brimming with Thanksgiving delights.

In that moment, this young boy's life was forever changed. He learned with this simple act of kindness that hope is eternal and that people, even strangers, really do care. He was overwhelmed with gratitude and swore that he would someday become successful enough to give something back to others.

On Thanksgiving some years later, the boy, just 18, went with his scant earnings to begin to fulfill that promise. He bought bags and bags of groceries and delivered them to a woman with six children whose father had abandoned them. The woman was elated, and the children shrieked with delight.

The young man was moved to tears. In that moment, he realised that his horrible day years ago was actually a gift that had brought him the fulfillment he now felt, and he knew with absolute certainty that whatever challenges came about now would be turned into valuable lessons.

The boy, was Anthony Robbins, and the moment marked the birth of the Anthony Robbins Foundation's International Basket Brigade. Inspired more than three decades ago by one simple act of generosity on the part of one caring person, the International Basket Brigade has blossomed into an astounding collective effort that now feeds more than two million people in 74 countries. Throughout the holiday season each year, Basket Brigade volunteers in all parts of the world deliver food, clothing, and hope to those who need it most.


There currently are ten Basket Brigade teams across Australia who help thousands of people every Christmas with food and toys. Entirely run by volunteers, Basket Brigade works with local grass root organisations that work with families on a regular basis to assist those that are truly needy. Basket Brigade has no religious or political affiliations and anyone is welcome to donate to the cause, may it be in the form of funds, products or services, or as a volunteer.

I got to know about Basket Brigade through the most effective social networking website - Facebook. A member of Malaysians Sydney Chapter shared a video of last year's Packing Day, which she was a part of. Packing Day is the day volunteers meet up at a designated warehouse to pack these Baskets.

It looked and sounded like lots of meaningful fun to me so I checked my diary to make sure that I did not have an interviewed scheduled for the day. When the online registration link was accessible, I logged on and registered. An e-mail then arrived, confirming my participation and providing the when and where details of this year's Packing Day.

Fast forward to today. I woke up early to take a bus to Epping. Due to track works, I took a Cityrail bus to Strathfield where I took the M90 to Chullora and walked the rest of the journey to the warehouse in Greenacre. I was welcomed graciously at the gate and was directed to the registration counter where I handed in my paperwork. Right after the lady behind the counter strapped my left wrist with a red paper band (those that are waterproof and really hard to tear off), my lovely friends from Malaysians Sydney Chapter walked up the ramp.

I take my hat off to the committee who made the event possible. During the briefing session, we learnt that one committee member did some of her liaising from South Africa. Talk about dedication and commitment. We were also reminded to work at a leisurely pace to prevent injury and more importantly, to ensure that all Baskets (boxes, actually) contain the right amount of content according to the labels.

Let me share my first Packing Day experience with you. I was part of the human production line, where I started with an empty box that was gradually filled to the brim at the end.

There were so many boxes. In fact, over 2,200 of them! However, due to fewer sponsors and donors, this amount is no where near the 4,000 boxes packed last year. Everyone is feeling the economy pinch, I suppose.

Each box was either painted on or decorated with hand-drawn Christmas drawings and greetings.

Just to let you gauge the atmosphere in that warehouse...

I was not even halfway through the line for the amount of food in the box below...

... and no, not lying because look, tell me if you are able to see the end of the line...

There was little room left in the box for the presents (they go according to gender and age of the recipients) and in some cases, no room left at all!

The presents were carefully wrapped by volunteers working in a special wrapping section of the warehouse.

The committee stressed that the Baskets are given anonymously. The only note for the recipients asks them to take care of themselves and if one day, they find themselves in a position to help another, then we encourage them to do so - the "pay it forward" concept. This note was placed inside the box right before it gets taped up by other volunteers. The Baskets were then moved onto the floor space and sorted according to area, for other volunteers to deliver.

To me, what made the day all the more meaningful was the sight of parents with children in tow, young and old, groups and individuals, friends and strangers, all working together for one cause. Everyone showed enjoyment in their expressions regardless of their 'jobs'. Some carried  and distributed boxes, some the food items, some wrapped presents, some taped the boxes, some cleaned up, some manned the barbie. But all of us were happy to be there knowing that part of what we did this morning will put a smile on someone's face.

Thank you for sharing it with the group, Michaeline. It was so much fun to have your girls there with us, too, Charmaine and thank you for the ride to Chullora. And it was a pleasure getting to know you, Yasmin and John.

N.B.: All background information taken from Anthony Robbins Foundation's International Basket Brigade and Magic Moments Foundation Australia websites and Facebook pages.

Concert & Graduation 2012: Colours

This year, the theme for our annual Concert and Graduation at Kembangsari was 'Colours'. Therefore, the material used for all the performances had something or other to do with colours.

Preparations began earlier this year, as I was around then to give ideas. As I was only there during the very initial stages, the educators (and myself, admittedly) were very nervous about putting up a good show. Preparations not only encompassed training the children in singing the songs but also the choreography of the songs, as well as matching and designing costumes and props.

Nearer the big day, Dad would draw up a draft of what the stage would look like.

Some of the educators then arrive on the night before, and more come on the morning itself to help with setting up the stage.

For particular educators, the night before also involved getting some of their props ready...

We received positive feedback for the stage this year, with the 3D effect created by the pieces of cloth that floated midair from the front to the back of the stage.

To see the hall seated to its maximum capacity and full from beginning to the end of the show was also a very encouraging sign. We really appreciate the support from everyone in the crowd - thank you!

You have no idea the amount of work that goes into making a successful show. And when I say work, I do not mean only the training and preparation for the performances. I also mean all the effort invested into grooming the children into the confident individuals that they are.

Like the African proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child", it takes the hard work and sweat of all the teaching and non-teaching staff and management, parents and the individual child to see the results we see in the children. It takes time and patience to guide children to become a team player who is respectful of themselves and others. It takes belief and perseverance in cultivating the habit of learning from mistakes with a positive attitude. It takes skill and enthusiasm to promote enjoyment for learning and doing new things.

The event, in my opinion, was a success. The children outdid themselves and performed better than everyone imagined. The parents were respectful of each other and were very supportive of all children. We are very honoured to have all of you with us.

Hope you will enjoy the DVD and we look forward to putting up another spectacular show for you next year!

Happy birthday, Mummy and Little Bro!

If only I was home this year for my own birthday, I would then be able to celebrate Mum's and Bro's birthdays, too. Apparently, Dad brought them to Bumbu Bali Restaurant in Bandar Puteri Puchong for a treat. Argh, missed yet another sumptious meal!

Here is to wishing my beautiful and capable mother, as well as my charming and popular brother HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Love you lots!

Happy birthday, Michael!

When I asked you out for dinner, I did not expect you to choose to have a mamak dinner. I was expecting something like Japanese or Thai. But never mind, it's your birthday so you get to have the last say.

My dearest sai lou, may the coming year be another year of personal growth and achievement for you. 

Happy birthday!

Happy wedding, Junda and Sharon!

When my friend Junda from UTS, enterprising owner of PappaRoti Australia and Petaling Street Malaysian Hawker Food Sydney Branch extended a wedding invitation, I could not say no. And so, along with three other lovely ladies, I went to Doltone House for a very purple evening.

Each of us received a personalised shot glass each...

I have to say, the food was not too bad. However, some of us were comparing a Western-style wedding dinner to a Malaysian-Chinese-style wedding dinner. No competition really. One is a three-course while the other is at least an eight-course.

Thank you for the invitation, Junda and Sharon. Congratulations and wishing every best for your future together as Mr. and Mrs. Khoo!

Life #11

Hello, my favourite month of the year. How have you been? You seem well. You brought with you splendid weather. You brought with you endearing endings and exciting beginnings.

Ah yes, it has been a while, has it not? A whole year has gone past without us realising. I suppose that is a good sign, no? A sign of us living life to the fullest and really enjoying our earthly pursuits.

We tend to take life for granted, do we not? Life, as in even the 'free stuff' that Mother Nature provides. Take now for example.

I see the flickering of the shadows made by the leaves on the trees playing peekaboo with one another.
I see the golden rays of sunshine, which provokes a sense of warmth.
I see birds of all kinds taking flight, making full use of the cool breeze that helps them fly with less effort.

I see all but I see only when I take the time and effort to slow down and pause to observe and ponder. This stopping to ponder, to me, is an important process but I am not suggesting that we do it every minute of the hour. I hear you ask, "If we stop to ponder so much, how does that help the year go past faster?" Ah, now, the answer to this question would differ from one individual to another. And for me, this process of reflection helps me shape my thoughts and to help me become.

Become?

Yes, become. To become more me. To listen to myself more. And when I am more skillful in listening to who I truly am, I am a more genuine person.

The world isn't just the way it is. It is how we understand it, no? And in understanding something, we bring something to it, no? Doesn't that make life a story?” ― Yann Martel in Life of Pi

Do not get me wrong. There is not intention to become the perfect being. This process of becoming takes plenty of effort, and life lessons. And I think, it also involves taking time to stop in our normally fast-paced, technology-packed tracks to just be grateful for everything and everyone.

So yes, my favourite month of the year, I am grateful that you have arrived. And thank you.